National Debt Reduction Plans - Change Management & Title Loans



Obama at American University by diggersf under
Attribution 2.5 Generic License



In a surprise move, the President announced the formation of the ‘Change Management’ department. This new agency will be responsible for the collection and rolling of spare change donated by citizens in the name of debt reduction. 

“With all the concern over the national debt, we felt we had to take some concrete action,” stated an unidentified staffer. “And we were able to re-use some campaign signs for the launch, so there’s some savings there as well.”

Full funding for the new department has yet to be approved by the Republican dominated Congress, but estimates range between 900 Billion and 1.2 Trillion annually. “You have to spend money to roll money,” stated the same staffer.

Speculation now centers around the Republican backed plan to get a title loan for the state of Alaska. In a bipartisan, emergency, all-night session, a series of big screen televisions were set up in a congressional hearing room. Session members took it in turn to call in to the various title loan ads that run mostly in the wee hours of the night. “It’s really a no-brainer,” a congressional aid was overheard saying during an off-the-record meeting over drinks at someone else's table. “We have fifty states, so we can keep that up for quite a while.”

Okay, so it's an obvious parody, but maybe it could help?